Should you say yes to the match if you don’t like it?

Posted by Simran

It is often said that “First impression is the last impression “. Though, it is not completely true when it comes to seeking and meeting potential matrimonial matches. Whether the match has come through recommendations of your family or friends, or you have sought each other through internet, you will want to meet each other at the first chance offered to you. Once you have met each other with your families in tow, it often happens that while your family is highly positive about the match, you have your own reservations. Here, you are left with a poser of sorts: Should you say yes even if you don’t like it?

The decision of your family will generally depend upon the family background of the match, financial standing, and professional background, in addition to the looks, education, profession and nature/disposition of the match. They will also strongly base their decision on the recommendations plied by the people known to the proposed match. On the other hand, you will judge the proposal firstly on the basis of looks and personality of the match. While not denying the fact that, there are different specifications for different persons, it is often seen that many proposals are rejected over looks. Many consider beauty to be only skin deep, but you have to remember that there is more in any person that meets the eye. You have to base your decision on so many things. You may also base your decision on the profession or pay packet of the match. Sometimes, something as trivial as the person wearing spectacles can influence your decision. Somebody being over or underweight can also lead to your saying NO to the match.

When should you rely on your parent’s decision? You have to weigh the pluses and minuses of the match from your parent’s point of view. Give a good thought to your parents decision, analyze why they are so positive about the proposal. Try to see things from their point of view, what is their expectation from the marriage? Having given a thought about this, now it is turn to think about your reasons of disapproval. Think carefully; talk it out with your best friend. Also don’t shy from discussing it with your family. They may also agree with your view point or you may see some point in their decision.

Whatever your view point is, you will have to agree that there is no such thing as a “Perfect Match”. Someone who is slim today may gain weight after a couple of years of marriage. Someone who doesn’t needs spectacles today may need it at any point of time.  Someone with a promise of great career or financial security may not be able to retain it due to any reason. We are not here to dissuade you,but you have to base your decision on something more deep. Analyze the underlying qualities of the match by trying to spend some more time with him or her. See how many times you are made to laugh, how easy going the person is, what is the basic nature of the person? Also try to find out what are the future goals in terms of personal and professional life, is the person family oriented, is he or she a loner or gregarious by nature ? These are the things, coupled with your parents’ viewpoint that will help you reach a sensible decision.

It is your life after all. Even if your family sounds positive about the match, you have the right to say NO if your gut feeling says so.

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